Days 4-6

Day 4
Today I had leftover pancakes in the morning. The flavor did get better as I ate them, but I had to eat them very slowly. Like 1 mini pancake every half hour, or they got all pasty. I got bored with my lunch, the turkey roll-ups still taste great, but I just want something exciting and new. The biggest challenge of the day was at a work meeting when they provided a "healthy" breakfast of ShakeSmart Smoothies, and one flavor was made with bananas and chocolate. My planned defense of hot tea didn't work, as they had brought in about 10 carry cases of Starbucks coffee, but no hot water. My bag of Jasmine Green tea was good for nothing.

For dinner, I made stuffed bell peppers with ground turkey, onions, marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese. They were really yummy and filling. Normally I put rice in the mix, too, but they were fine without it. I was looking for something sweet so I tried this recipe: http://www.eat2beehealthy.com/2013/08/dark-chocolate-sunflower-banana-butter.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed:+Eat2beeHealthy+%28Eat2Bee+Healthy%29 for 21DSD Imitation Peanut Butter Cups. I doubted how they could taste okay with one hundred percent chocolate, and nothing sweet. The filling wasn't terrible, well, Chad said is was the Devil's dessert, but I think it could have been better if the chocolate weren't so overwhelmingly bitter. He is still traumatized and says he wants to forget them as soon as possible, and is actively working on blocking them from his memory. I am about to give up on trying the 21DSD recipes I find on pinterest or from the Balanced Bites website. I eventually had a green apple for dessert, and that was so much easier, less wasteful, and a whole lot better tasting.

Day 5
Normally Chad and I like to have a special breakfast on weekends. I make eggs and hash browns and bacon for Chad, sometimes pancakes or waffles. Or I go to the Farmer's Market down the street and get fresh baked chocolate croissants. This morning I didn't have craving for these things, but a sense of sadness and nostalgia. I didn't know what to make instead. So I went to the store and got some eggs and tricut potatoes. I know I couldn't eat them, but I still made them for Chad. It gave me my normal sense of routine, like I wasn't being deprived of experience, and ate my eggs more happily than I had expected. Robin was beyond elated that she got some of Chad's bacon scraps.

Baking is one of my favorite hobbies and I am not used to recipes not turning out delicious. I am not able to distract myself with work, and it is a true struggle to not break down and start whipping up some chocolate chip cookies, or chocolate mousse, or homemade marshmallows. On a rainy day like today, drinking hot chocolate would be perfect, especially with those honey marshmallows. I am proud of myself for making it to Day 5, and it's getting difficult to remember why I started this nonsense in the first place. I was feeling better with limiting my sugars to 20 grams a day. But I know that moderation is going to be even easier if I can break my addiction, and today is harder than tomorrow will be. If I want to lose weight and fit my clothes better, have control over my diet, and will power, and if I want to have better health in the future, I know I should keep fighting.

Sarah recommended the  recipe for Apple Crisp, and it was awesome. Yes, there was no sugar, but it was sweet and didn't taste like cardboard. Woohoo! We went out of the house, and that helped so much. When I was sitting at home, staring at my oven and mixer, it was so hard not to make brownies. Out of the house, there were so many distractions. This was easily my hardest day so far. I am thankful for apples.

Day 6
I am losing so much weight. Since Februay, I have lost 14 pounds. I am a little concerned that it is going too fast, but I know I lot of it has to be water weight. I am just goign to watch carefully this week to make sure that I am eating enough calories to keep me going.

Fried eggs with avocado and tomato slices for breakfast. Apple crisp for lunch, healthy I know. And barbeque chicken with asparagus and yam for dinner. I know yams are off the list, but I do not want to quit running, and there are on the list of approved running-training additions to the 21DSD. I have leftover chicken for lunches this week, but I don't know what to include with it. Time to think creatively!